The one thing that is killing your online dating profile

Road Block

What’s the biggest thing hurting your dating profile?

The one thing that is killing your online dating profile

I’ve read feedback from hundreds of women looking at online dating profile. I do it so that I can perform quality control on our reviewers, but also to learn what the most common critiques are. So what’s the most common thing that is hurting men’s profiles? Is it having a picture with your shirt off? Talking too much about your job? Coming off as arrogant? Looking like you love beer just a little bit too much?

It’s grammar. Your poor grammar skills are more likely than anything else to be the worst thing about your online dating profile.

Why is that?

  • It makes you look lazy – Okay, so you don’t bother to use a comma, or spell all of your polysyllabic words properly, or learn how many dots are in an ellipse… What’s it matter? Well, to a potential date, it makes you look lazy, indifferent, or maybe even apathetic. If you’re too lazy to write properly on the site that is supposed to find you a significant other (or just a significant evening), maybe you’d be too lazy to try to impress on the first date, or maybe, just maybe, if everything works out and you end up living together, maybe you’d be too lazy to put your dirty clothes in the hamper, help with the chores on the weekend, or make any sort of attempt to be a good partner.
  • It makes you look less intelligent – A friend of mine ran his profile through the system and grammar was a huge red flag in almost all the reviewers’ opinions. But he’s not a stupid guy, not at all. He’s wrapping up his PhD. One reviewer said something along the lines of, “I can tell you’re intelligent, but you’re hindering how smart you look with the bad grammar.” If you can’t tell the difference between your and you’re, then maybe you should have someone else proof your profile for you.
  • It makes you look worse than the next guy, who actually understands how to write well – As a guy, you’re competing against tons of other guys on the dating site. You’re competing for responses, for initiation, for any sort of attention. If two guys have similarly appealing profiles, but one has a beautiful written, grammatically perfect profile, and the other guy looks like he has no idea that there is a difference between there, they’re, and their, then the guy with proper grammar would win.

What to do about your poor grammar?

  • Have a friend with a better grasp on proper grammar look it over.
  • Take the text of your profile and paste it into Microsoft Word or some other word processing software, and it will alert you of the misspellings, and grammar issues.
  • Use a site like Grammarly to check your grammar and give you a list of errors to correct.


Curious what else is hurting your online dating results? You’ll never know what’s holding you back until you ask. Try Ignite Your Match and get insights on how to fix your profile’s problems from 10 men or women in the age range you want to date. It’s quick, affordable, easy, and secure.

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